hey hey, im back after almost one month.... work was kinda hectic and my dad threw on me his diploma stuff for me to do... sigh. at least i have time to do quite a bit of stuff for myself. recently, i started watching anime, avatar: the last airbender, which is by the way, the DAMN COOLEST anime on earth!!!! and my most favourite pairing (for those of you who know me well, will noe that i will manage to get a favour a pairing soon enough) is .......... ZUTARA!!! ie zuko and katara...
woah, can u find a better pair. zuko is from the fire nation, hot-headed and driven, whilst katara is from the water tribe, cool, calm and collected. they complement each other like yin and yang, striking the perfect balance. and to add to it, zuko has trhe bad-boy, underdog image which justs adds to his personality even more. lol... i find him totally HOT!!! i mean, i know he is supposed to be 16 and i am 19... but still he is like damn toned and he can FIREBEND!!!! isnt that awesome?? and also zuko has joined the avatar in his great mission to bring peace amongst the elements, which is yet another reason for me to fall in love with zuko... hehe just kidding. but, (there is always a but in everything), the avatar episodes are not coming up soon. so, i have taken to reading fanfiction on zutara. they totally RULE!!! i mean, they just fulfilled my deepest desires to see zuko and katara together, so what is the big deal with it, right? but hey, they are totally awesome!!! anyways, i think i have been ranting enough.. lol...
so shall, quit it for now, and take a small break.

P.S. by lord agni, if tui and la ever get seperated, the earth kingdom shall shatter and the air nomads shall die.

menstrual cramps are the worse things that can happen in a woman's life.... sigh.... every month we have to go through the same torture, time after time... it like a punishment for being born as a woman, for being the weaker sex of the 2. u can do nothing with it, but yet its not good enough an excuse, coz all the other women are working with it... sigh, all the women in the world should gang up to protest that we will not work or do anything else that is demanding , on the first three days of our period.. then, life will be a bliss... lol.. i sound so feminist now.
but really its just a pain in the ass, ok, maybe not ass, but still a pain. as i am trying to cope with it, so shall u gals out there too... signing off...

Death

death...
i wonder what it means
nobody has ever lived to tell about the story behind it
and nobody will do so

is there an afterlife?
is there heaven and hell?
will sinners really suffer?
will saints really enjoy?

its so tempting sometimes
to leave it all behind, to stop the pain
but theres no way back
its a one way street

some say, its the way to attain god
some say its the way to free yourself
but is it really true?
or is it just preaching?

some in the streets
some in the hospital
some in their own bed sleeping
whichever way, all walk through the same door to the deadland

we all know we are going to die one day
but yet we carry out our daily duties
cuz the only thing that keeps us going
is that we dont know when the time will come

i hope i go after i enjoyed life
we all hope so too
but while some are lucky
some are not

is it something to be afraid of?
or is it something to embrace with open arms?
time will tell
when the time comes for me

life is never without regrets

i see u crying all alone in a corner
tears streaming down ur cheeks, one at a time
u suffer to think about what u did that time
and i can only watch u from afar...

it pains for u tell about what u did then,
about how u left them all alone
when all they had was u, and only u
i try to console u, but in vain
its not ur fault i say,
we are the dolls in the hands of fate's play
but nothing can change what's already been done...

it pains me to see u cry...
tears start welling up in my eyes too
i turn away, not letting u see them
coz i dont want u to know
i regret for u too..

they loved u, u said
but alas, whats happened has happened
and its no use crying over spilt milk
only thing to calm u down, i say
life is never without regrets...

i think i probably sounded the same as X in the previous entry, bigheaded and full of myself... but one lesson that i learnt when i was in jc was that, always associate yourself with somebody of your ability of maybe even higher for u continue progressing. if not, its just down hill for you all the way... its not wrong to change yourself to adapt to the present situation but make sure, it does not become permanent. u dont want to stand out too much, but u dont want to mingle too much until u loose ur own identity... sigh...

some times, people can be sooooooooo FUCKING egoistic!!!! i mean, they can say mean things to us and we are supposed to take it as a joke but when we reply back with answers that are not even mildly insulting, they get soooooo over the top. certain things are meant to be taken with a pinch of salt, man...

and yes, i (or more like somebody whom i know) have this huge issue with class. can u become classy by acting know-it-all and having expensive tastes? u should look around urself first, right? if the people whom u surround urself with are from the dumps(or the likes), then, u cant pretend to be classy as well, right? there is a qoute, show me ur frens and i will tell what kind of person u r... i wish somebody will that to that person. and i have no choice but to associate myself with that person... its not just me but someone else thinks its degrading and a waste of time to be hanging around the group of them.. really, its time that i associated my self with some people of my own caliber.

Trying to act all posh and high-class when that person has nothing to his/her name except for looks... sigh, what kind of a world is this... such a peacock!! and guess what? damn i sooooooo wanna expose that person's identity now but i cant.... that person's family is one screwed family too... with the roles reversed and the family's respect down the drain amongst the others... and that person does not even care about that... to that person (lets call him/her X), to X all he/she can be bothered about is maintaining that posh image of his/hers. i mean, the nick for X which X named it himself/herself is SOOOO conceited. i am bursting with anger now!!! what right does X have to be so proud of himself/herself?? such a vain display of narcissm... haiz... really, so the question now is, can one be of class due to behaviour alone? doesnt one's background be concrete enough for that as well??

hey. i am finally back in the office... not that i actually have one.. oh wells, i am just soooo sleepy right now that i want to crawl back to my sty and go to slumberland... lol... oh ya, i am currently piglet. my very FRIENDLY colleagues named me piglet ( though they did name themselves bunny and roo too) hehe.. so ya, i want to be at my sty now... aiya, dont know what to write also. anyways. oh ya, i should check out facebook. havent done so for quite some time already, i mean about a few days. ok then shall go see that, bye.

You and I...

i have what it takes... to be what you want...
i think i know... what you want in me...

lets go tour the world, see whats in store for us...
maybe you would realise then, that there is nothing more i could do for you..
u've got to help yourself, be the man you want to be
all this is nothing if u dont put in the effort.
i can force but nothin' s gonna change if u dont try yourself
oohhh... let me be the support for you,
lean on me when u need help
i will stay beside u, not going anywhere
dont worry , my dear...

lets play a game of love,
a game where no ones wins
both of us will loose together
but we'll find joy in it...
as those befo_re us
i 'll tell you what to do and you will the same with me

be together forever, as i said
i have what it takes... to be what you want...
i think i know... what you want in me...
i will stay beside u, not going anywhere
dont worry , my dear...

nothing

whatever do i see you for
when all you do is make me cry
whatever do i hear you for
when all you do is make me sad

oh, what has life come to be
i'm dreading every second
its better to be off dead!!!
nothing that i do has succeeded
nothing that i wish has come true
nothin' nothin' ... life has come to nothin'

u came in sometime...
i thought hope was revived
soon the world was much better
i felt good for the first time ever...

roses started blooming and
the wind started blowing
the love was felt all over
every day was a shiny shiny beautiful day...

but then came the sorrow bit...
i saw you with another girl
hanging around the mall,
yeah with your hands in her pants

i broke into a million pieces
right there and then,
i tried to call you, find you somehow
but all you did was ignore me to the end..

oh,what has life come to be
i'm dreading every second
its better to be off dead!!!
nothing that i do has succeeded
nothing that i wish has come true
nothin' nothin' ... life has come to nothin'

i am going down..
forever going down..
friends and family, i own none
i am going down.

my only hope has shattered away..

hey... very sleepy right now, just had lunch. so, as an indian i only its right that i follow my traditions and sleep after i have my lunch.. lol..=) anyways, there is this security guard downstairs that really reminds of a clown, everytime we look at him, he always makes us laugh.. lol.. he is one funny guy.

these few days have been quite busy, had no time to blog at all at work. which is quite good actually, considering that i was complaining i had nothing to do previously. but ok, back to the point, i am exoecting a level results o be out this week, since cny was last week. but there have been rumours that its going to be out only before march, that will be too late already. aiya. i was all pschyed up for my results but now they delay it again... i am really scared now. dont know how i did. u know, just yesterday i found out that lx had actually applied to imperial college and ucl and got waitlisted!! that naughty gal ah... never tell us anything, just act so slow infront of us... but damn smart inside. wish i was like lx, then wont have to worry for a levels at all.

oh, and i saw sherwin the o ther day when i went out for dinner with my cousins at a jap rest. guess what?? he was bald... lol.. i mean obviously u would have guessed that since to army and all.. anyways, i smsed lx immediately and she replied back saying OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!! rofl lmao, she was really shocked to hear that, she was like 'how is looking right now?' hehe, he really did change a lot... ok right now i am just crapping since i have nothing else to talk about, but i got to keep writing something to prevent myself from falling asleep. sigh... sleep is something you can never fight with, even when there is an earthquake going on, or a volcano eruption nearby, u will still continue to sleep if your body tells you to. all right, i think i better go now. oh wait, my mum is cooking CRAB today!!! i am so happy, can go home to a nice hearty dinner. oh wells, ttyl later. wait that must be ttml. (talk to me later) lol... i should get myself some crutches, i am soooooo lame!!! (lol, that was lame). enough of my crappiness... toodles.

yo! i am at office now, oh wells, nothing much to do now also... but the past 2 days have been quite busy. had to photocopy alot of stuff. was in front of the photocopy machine the whole day.
sigh... feeling very bored now. but u noe, hazel is leaving soon... aiya, in a damn crappy mood now, dont feel like writing much now, maybe later...

damn bored now... working time has become reading. i am currently rereading the digital fortres... couldn't find any other book at my house to bring over... sigh.. i think blogging has to take up my time here. me being loosu, i am came at eight o'clock today morning... really i cannot calculate the time properly to come here from home.. oh and by the way i took mrt today to work for the first time from my house. because appa went on a malaysian trip with his students and colleagues today morning. for the first time he woke up earlier than me. lol..

oh wells, i hope i will get some shredding work to do now, having nothing to do is seriously a torture. i mean, you cannot watch dramas and you cannot sleep either... its especially hard when you have nothing to do and you feel so sleeeeeeeeeepy... zzzzzzzzz anyways, heard that there will be interviews conducted soon, so maybe then we will have work to do like setting up the interview room, preparing the files for the interview and stuff like that. also, an admin asst, yan ling will be leaving this week too, so i am hoping to have more work from next week, seeing that we will probably have to cover her duties. another thing is that i feel so guilty for not doing anything. i mean, its not my fault, they are the ones not giving me any job to do, but still, u tend to feel a little sorry?? its like u r getting paid but u r not doing anything. and also, i think the people in my office, because they think i am new, they dont give me much work to do also. like ruuning on errands, they keep asking huishan or yan qin to do, only hazel asked me to run an errand for her once or other times i am just following them when the are asked to do so. haiz... it really tough... sometimes i think this job would have suited pearl very well, since she is soooo good at stoning.. lols... i feel evil now.. oh wells, there is nothing i can do and there is nothing i can do about it...

yo people all over the world, wait who am i kidding, probably nobody will read this, but oh wells... my main aim in creating this blog to pass time at my workplace, seriously, out of the nine hoursm i am almost free for 8 hours, can u beleive that??? i get paid for doing nothing. i can hardly believe my luck. anyways, so i decided to create a blog to kill time in the office. i could read books to enhance and expand my knowledge, but what the heck. i want to do something more interesting and fun...

i just heard from my dance classmate kanages yesterday, or maybe my EX-sance classmate (since i quit last year) that bhakthan sir (my first dance teacher) is back from india and he is teaching at a different school. YAY!!! i really missed him, he was so nice to us. so i decided that i am going to join dance, never mind the fact that i am bald right now, and that he will probably tease until i fall at his feet for that, but i just cant wait to start dancing. firstly, because i miss dancing and secondly because i have to start loosing weight!!! i have been growing fatter and fatter during these holidays because there is no school, thus no exercise as well. i better loose some weight before uni, or else i wont be able to wear nice clothes for that. haiz... so, as i was saying, i am going down to the new school this sat to enroll myself in for the classes and to meet with all my old dance classmates... its time, i look for them and say hello.

ok, now, i am bored and i dont have anything to write, but i shall still keep on typing coz, i have nothing else to do anyways. ok, after some pondering, i think i shall blog on my new workplace.
i am with two other chinese temp admin asst (thats what i am working as btw). they are huishan and yan qin. huishan has been working here since 1st december whilst yanqin has been working here since jan i think. but can u imagin huishan, she didn't even take a break after a levela, she started immediately, i am DEFINITELY sure, i cannot do that. some drive to earn money, that gurl has. and yah, i am under hazel, the A start graduate academy head. i am working in a star in biopolis. hazel is my type of woman. she is kind, polite yet succesful in work. she reminds me of tang lyn lyn, my chem tecaher in rj. she was the one who inspired me to love chem... i am not kidding when i say this, coz, my sec school chem teacher definitely made me hate chem, but ms tang was a really nice teacher and guided me through my rj life. she was also the only one whom i got a teacher's day present last year. lol... she may be petite (she is very small , only around my hieght and skinny), but she definitely does pack a punch. the one thing about her was that she just did not teach the syllabus, she also, as cliched as it may sound, taught us some invaluable lfe lessons. she is easily the best teacher i had. ok, i started of talking about work, and then i rolled on to talking about ms tang... lol..

ok then , i think thats enough for today, my fingers a getting slightly tired of typing as well. (actually no, i am just finding an excuse to stop blogging). oh wells.
take care peeps (to the poor souls who have nothing better to do that they are deperate enough to read my blog)

luv,
sambi